“Our focus on romantic love as the basis for marriage has a definite downside, though it makes for a pretty picture at the beginning… Many of the conversations we need to have with our future life partner are avoided precisely because they’re so unromantic. These talks involve subjects that can reveal chinks in the relationship, which romantic love enables us to look away from. Even though the failure rate of marriage—40% or so—is well-known, we’re all sure it doesn’t apply to us because our love is real and solid.
“Yet marriage is complicated because we are complicated. Each of us brings into marriage a boatload of unarticulated thoughts about what it means to be married based on what we’ve seen, heard, experienced, or formulated in contrast to our parents’ example—and those unconscious thoughts influence our behavior and reactions. Marriage has its own set of myths, including the one that says that whatever is wrong with your relationship will be fixed by the commitment marriage represents.”
This article by Peg Streep covers 6 talks that every couple should have before they tie the knot.
Are you planning to get engaged or married? Consider premarital counseling to gain a deeper understanding of your relationship and learn practical skills to prepare for a healthy lifelong marriage.
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